I wrote this as a Christmas tale for my kids in 2010, at the time my son Shane was 5 and my daughter Cate was 2, I read it to them before bed on Christmas Eve.

While they were still young enough to endure (possibly enjoy) my bullshit storytelling I wrote a couple of additional tales. There is a possibility that will share those tales during the next couple holiday seasons.

~

Kitty and the Snowman

At five Shane was a bit tall and scrawny, a healthy kid who could run all day and sleep hard all night. He referred to himself as Shirtless Shane. Even if there was a chill in the air, the first thing he would do as he was running out of Miss Sweeney’s kindergarten class into the waiting arms of one (or both) of his parents is take off his shirt and declaring “I’m Shirtless Shane”.

It did not matter who was meeting him after school his 2 year old sister Caitlin with her blond hair and big blue eyes was always there. She loved her big brother, her smile and the way she yelled his name “Ayne” never failed to delight Shane. Shane loved to call her Kitty, she would often run around meowing. At night when she slept, she almost sounded like a tiny kitten purring.

The last day of school before Christmas break was an especially blustery day. It was snowing lightly, but the cold wind was howling. The weather forecast was for an all out blizzard to start later that night and not stop until Christmas day. Three feet of snow was predicted.  

That day Shane’s mommy did her usual bundling up of her and Kitty to walk to Shane’s school. Three jackets (at least one of them with a hood), long johns, two pair of gloves, two pair of socks, winter boots and big hats. It was a short walk, but with that howling wind, Shane’s mommy wanted to stay warm. Even with all of their preparations it was a very chilly walk. The bell rings at 2:15, they arrived just on time, which was great, they would not have to wait too long in the cold.

Miss Sweeney, standing at the door to the classroom would let the children leave as soon as she saw that their mommy or daddy was there to meet them. When Miss Sweeney noticed Shane’s mommy she pointed her out to Shane. Shane went running, like he always does, he tore of his winter coat, then his long sleeve shirt and finally he took off his tee shirt and started to say “I’m Shirtless Shane” but all of the words didn’t come out, he only got to “I’m Shirtless…” before stopping mid-sentence and mid-step.

At that moment Shane was turned into a SNOWMAN!

His mommy was freaking out. The wind was picking up and the snow was getting worse. Kitty was shivering and starting to cry. It was so cold and no one seemed to notice that Shane was now a popsicle. Miss Sweeney’s classroom door was shut, the lights were out. With the cold and snow all of the other parents were scattering off and disappearing into the haze of the snow.

Panicked now, Shane’s mommy was trying everything she could think of to save Shane. She tried picking him up, in an effort to move him to a warmer spot so that he could thaw out. However, he was just too heavy and with the accumulating snow he was getting heavier by the minute. She tried hugging him figuring that her body heat would melt him. That didn’t work, it only made Shane’s mommy even colder than she already was.

Kitty, still in her mothers arms, was kicking and screaming. Her mommy had no intention of letting her down, she feared that she would end up with two snow children. Kitty kept screaming the same thing over and over. It sounded like ERT, ERT, in a very high pitch. Her mommy had no idea what she was trying to say. She didn’t really even think about it, she just figured that Kitty was also freaking out.

She had to do something. Fortunately she had her cell phone with her, she called Shane’s daddy at his work, Shane’s daddy is usually very calm in stressful situations like this. Not this time, he too was freaking out, which only made things worse. He said he would get there as quick as he could and suggested to pour hot water over Shane in hopes that it would melt enough of the snow so that Shane’s mommy could carry him home and thaw him out in their cozy warm house. This plan backfired, by the time Shane’s mommy went home, with Kitty in her arms all the while screaming ERT, ERT, ERT. She fetched a bucket full of hot water and high-tailed it back to the school. By the time Shane’s mommy and sister got back to the school not only did Shane the Snowman almost double in size because of the now blizzard conditions, the bucket of hot water, with the freezing outdoor temperatures, had turned into a giant bucket of slush. Shane’s mom was out of ideas so she figured she would give it a shot anyway. She dumped this big bucket of slushy water over Shane’s head instantly turning Shane into an Icicleman, he was one big snowman shaped ice cube.

Shane’s mommy was now way beyond panic could do nothing but sob. Kitty was still screaming ERT, ERT, ERT. What happened next is still somewhat of mystery. Kitty with all of her kicking and screaming somehow escaped her mothers grasp and hit the ground running, immediately disappearing into the blizzard.

Her mommy, now gone wacko thinking she not only had an icicle for a son, she would not find her daughter before she suffered the same fate. She looked for her as much as she could but he snow drifts were now taller than Kitty. All she could do is stand next to her… uhm icicle Shane and hope that when his daddy got there he would be able to find Kitty save Shane. Every so often she thought she could here Kitty ERT, ERT, ERT, keeping her hope alive. Time passed, it seemed like an eternity ERT, ERT, ERT…

After what seemed like way too much time Kitty came into mommy’s view carrying something and still screaming ERT, ERT, ERT, mommy’s eyes full of tears took a few moments to figure out what Kitty was carrying. Finally she realized that Kitty was carrying Shane’s coat, long sleeve and shirt. Now she understood in Kitty’s two year old pronunciation ERT meant shirt. She was trying to tell her mommy to put Shane’s shirts on him to thaw him out.

Kitty’s mommy was doubtful that this would work but figured she had tried everything else, so why not. Fortunately, Shane liked his shirts very large, with his newfound snow and ice girth the shirts and coat would not have fit otherwise. Shane’s mommy slid his tee shirt over what was once his head. Nothing happened. She pulled his long sleeve on next. She thought she saw a little bit of thawing, like when you take lick of a popsicle and it gets shiny. She grabbed his coat, slid his icicle arms into the sleeves. That’s when she noticed a few drops ice melting. She tried to get the coat zipped up, but Shane was still to big. Kitty ran over and with all of her little might held the bottom of the coat together while her mommy held the top. Hoping that they could hold it together long enough, Shane the Icicle would become Shane the boy again. He was melting, it was working. Just a few minutes later mommy was able to get the zipper started. It was a slow process, but every little bit that mommy was able to zip up Shane would melt even faster. As they finally got the coat zipped all the way up Shane rapidly thawed the rest of the way.

When Shane and Kitty’s daddy finally arrived he was a bit confused, mommy was crying, Kitty was mumbling something about an ert and except looking a bit like an ice-cream cone in the August sun, Shane appeared fine.

After Shane thawed out he seemed to be the same happy kid he always, with one big exception, he no longer had any interest in being shirtless. From that day on he was never again seen with out a shirt on. If he had to change his shirt he would put one on over the one he had on and somehow slip the one he had on under it off, like how you sometimes see girls do it. He would wear a shirt on the beach, in pools and even in the shower.

Christmas was only a few days after Shane’s thawing out, the only Christmas presents that Shane wanted was shirts and lots of them.

The End